Daily Hero

Angela Lansbury (b. October 16th, 1925- )

Lunesta, the prescription sleep aid, (the one with the green lunar moth that touches you in your bedroom when you are all alone), was actually created to help people keep their minds off of today’s daily hero. Swarms of young men across the country couldn’t function after that fateful day in 1984 when “Murder She Wrote” debuted. Armies of sex-starved youth across the country were obsessed with this blonde-haired bombshell. Because of the dire situation, Ronald Regan ordered the Federal Government to devise a sleep aid for men everywhere to help them at the very least, get some rest in between imagining themselves as Jessica Fletcher’s typewriter, her gentle fingers caressing every key….

Angela Lansbury was born in London but moved to the U.S. at the beginning of the Second Great War. She married young, at only 19, to actor Richard Cromwell, but when he couldn’t meet her almost constant demands for wild and very passionate sex, she divorced him after only a year.

Two years later, she remarried to an Irishman named Peter Shaw. Their marriage lasted until his death in 2003 and their homemade stag films were the toast of Hollywood swinger’s parties for decades.

In the 1960’s Angela gave written permission for her daughter, Deirdre, to travel with Uncle Charlie and the Manson family. Although they may sound like a psychedelic rock band on the verge of hitting it big, in reality they were a brainwashed cult that followed Charles around and killed pregnant actresses.

Angela Lansbury started in film starring beside such names as Ingrid Bergman, Joe Cotton, and Donna Reed. She even garnered two academy award nominations for her roles in GasLight, and The Picture of Dorian Gray, but Hollywood politics and social conservatism held her down, keeping her out of the winner’s circle.

One of her most famous roles came years later in 1991, as the voice of Mrs. Potts, in Disney’s Beauty and the Beast, an animated film about a French woman who falls in love with an Italian man. Even as a dancing, singing, teakettle, Angela’s prowess as an actor shines through.

Beauty and the Beast opened the door for Angela to delve into the world of animated Disney porn, putting her shoulder to shoulder with such greats as Ariel from The Little Mermaid, taking it from behind courtesy of Aladdin of Aladdin fame. Angela, as Mrs. Potts, had more holes to fill than the average Disney character and was a huge hit with the Internet everywhere. Many desperate overweight kids with animation fetishes were thrilled to see a personified candlestick give it to an elderly teapot in the worst way.

Angela Lansbury remains a tour de force on the rerun circuit as Jessica Fletcher, but has also appeared recently on Law and Order: Special Victims Unit and Law and Order: Trial By Jury. She is a sexy, sexy woman and today’s Daily Hero.

This entry was posted on Sunday, March 12th, 2006 at 1:10 am and is filed under Television, Movie, Real Life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.